Pros and cons to be my friend:

Cons:
• I'm asshole.

Pros:
• I am your asshole.

The most horrifying thing is to wear a skirt - this is what you have to straighten it every 5 seconds, because your fucking backpack all the time crushes it up, exposing your ass show.

Maybe the reason why I'm still alone, that I never went to a Christmas party at a ski resort and sang karaoke with a perfect stranger.

I say "sorry" but it means "a dick you and your friends, hell, stand in the middle of the corridor and prevent all pass, that in the garbage, freak"

Me: * smiling, looking at the phone *
Mom: man? Me:
a fanfic

I just casually said "in this series" instead of "Today."

When I finally will have sex:
Some guy: Well, I know you're a virgin, so most likely, you know very little about ...
Me: No, I read fanfiction, I understand